the duality of grey matter

after much contemplation, i have decided that two consciousnesses exist within the same brain. this seems so obviously apparent to me simply because of my dreams, or dreams in general. yes, dreams are so crazy, and the majority of the time we can't even fathom what the deuce they mean, if anything. but the real proof is in the telling of the nonsensical story during our nocturnal unconsciousness. this is what most amazes me, that during my dreams, i can, and often am, surprised in some way. whether i am shocked at some scene before me, startled by some sudden event that i was unable to predict, or just so at a loss for what is going on during my dream itself.

if you think about it, it is pretty much impossible to surprise yourself when you're awake. try it. try to test your reflexes by dropping a pencil. hold it by the eraser end with the point pointing towards the floor. then with your other hand, position your index finger and thumb near the pencil to pinch it when it plummets. try as you may, you always know when you're going to release and it rarely travels far at all before you grab it. try it with someone else and i guarantee it will be much more difficult. so when such a simple task is so impossible insofar as your own brain being able to trick itself, how is it able to send itself through such surrealistic rollercoasters while dreaming? dreams can often have some pretty twisted outcomes and unexpected events, none of which you can predict at any time during the dream. or at least your dream-self can't figure it out.

the only logical answer to me is the existence of a second consciousness. it comes to life at night and preys upon the extremely relaxed and vulnerable state of the primary consciousness. similar to how one cat will wait for another cat to be comfortably asleep before it pounces full-force. or maybe also similar to how a vulture waits until its prey is too weak to resist. it presents all these twisted scenarios and ridiculous possibilities that your primary consciousness tries desperately to keep pace with within the realistic bounds that it is used to. but it is trying to sleep and recuperate at the same time, and is therefore not so sharp. that possibly explains why you can't run when you need to most, or why you make absolutely retarded choices in dreams. ok, well, i guess i can't speak for everyone, but that's how it happens in my dreams.

i think there are times when one consciousness barges in on the other without knocking. i don't know if everyone experiences this complete oddity, but sometimes in my dream, i will remind myself that i'm in a dream and it doesn't matter. or even another character in my dream will tell me the truth of the situation and my dream-self is like, 'oh...interesting.'

what exactly is the subconscious consciousness' day job? he does a very good job of laying low, that's for sure. but i totally picture him scampering about the shadows, picking up scraps, like a homeless man. he grabs one discarded thought, image, name, conversation, holds it up to the light, squints and examines it up close, shakes it a little bit close to his ear to see if there's possibly something to use in the night's romp through WTFville. satisfied that it might come in handy, he tucks it into his cart and moves along, following the primary consciousness at a respectable distance, making sure to vigilantly take note of the things dropped along the way. he totally is a homeless person. he would be nowhere without the primary consciousness to leech off of, but the primary consciousness can never be rid of him. not that i would want that to happen anyway.

actually maybe it's more like that cousin that never made anything of his life, but still has the best stories at family get-togethers.