entirely [un]realistic scenario, pt. 1

if zombies threatened the existence of all mankind, what would vampires do about it? on the one hand, vampires basically view humans as cattle, food, and have very little respect for their existence in the first place as anything apart from serving the physiological needs of the vampire kind. on the other hand, if all humans were extinct and replaced with zombies, which do not exactly offer a tasty midnight treat to a vampire, and would probably be a bit of a nuisance and possibly even a threat, would vampires feel the need to assist humans in their struggle for survival?

i think they would. regardless of the low opinion that vampires generally hold of humans, it would probably be in the best interest of vampires worldwide to ensure the survival of humans and, more importantly, the lack of existence of zombies. for starters, obviously humans would be much easier to manipulate and keep in check as they drone on in their own generally harmless 'lives'. zombies tirelessly seek to eat anything that lives and breathes and pumps blood, and would therefore create a constant and active inconvenience, if not a serious threat. and once one zombie found a vampire house, every zombie in the area would be drawn towards it. vampires would no longer be able to live in luxurious, fashionable mansions, but would be forced into impenetrable, unreachable fortresses in remote locations. its like the difference between herding cattle and herding eternally starving piranhas with an open wound.

the other reason is functionality. humans meet the needs of vampires much more completely than zombies, due in no small part to the fact that zombies are pretty much worthless to vampires. one aspect of this is food. of course vampires can create synthetic blood plasma and probably live on that and previously extracted blood for quite awhile, but i'm guessing that is the vampire equivalent to eating freeze-dried food in a bunker. vampires like to live in style, and i'm willing to bet the thought of lowering themselves to that for the rest of eternity sends an icy chill up their already frigid spines. since zombies don't actually have blood pumping through their veins, they are completely worthless in the category of food stuffs. another function that humans serve is to be used to create more vampires, essentially as potential replacements to replenish their ranks for whatever reason they might need more vampires. once again, since zombies don't use blood to sustain their parody of life, they would be unable to turn. finally, humans are often used as servants, slaves, and helpers to aid the lives of vampires. it helps to have retainers that can function in sunlight as well as do the menial work that most vampires would view as far below their regal status. even if vampires somehow managed to develop the technology to subdue zombies and bend them to the will of another, their lack of intelligence and basic motor skills would still make them far inferior to a human slave, even the most foolish.

despite the inferior stature of humans to vampires, i honestly think that vampires would be wise to assist humankind in the event of a zombie invasion/outbreak. i for one would love to watch a vampire army wage war against a mindless yet tireless horde of zombies, the ultimate matching of technique, technology, intelligence and precision versus brute force, superior numbers, and a fearless foe that is nearly impossible to stop. as it was so eloquently put in the dark knight, an unstoppable force colliding with an immovable object.

however i am open to logical debate and reasoning. feel free to disagree, but only with good reason!