cloud discrimination

something i think is somewhat interesting. we can look at clouds and say, "hey, that looks like a sheep! i see a sailboat (or a schooner)!see how the one cloud goes up and over like the sails and the other cloud wisps in below it. whoa, check it out, it's a dragon riding a giant bunny while juggling baby geese!" we can sit and stare at clouds for awhile and just enjoy thinking of what they look like. so how come no one ever looks at some random object and say, "whoa, look, it looks like a cloud! see, the fluff and the puff. spot on match!" it almost like we don't want to acknowledge the existence of clouds. we go through life trying to figure out what else they could be instead of simply recognize their being!

how can such a degrading, discriminatory act of prejudice continue to sustain itself in this the united states of america, land of the tolerant and home of the equal-opportunistic?! we waged a bloody war on our own soil to disallow the notion that some men are better than others, we allow foreign empires to launch missiles at us without taking action, we permit aliens to come into our country and work our jobs while not even speaking our native tongue! and yet, we cannot allow the simple clouds their easy-going existence without taking away their dignity and robbing them of their honor. not only do we steal the very beauty of their grace and form and attribute it to another creature or object, be we encourage our children to follow suit, without ever questioning the danger our deep-seated intolerance is posing to the very actions of the future. outrageous, i cry! a true atrocity that must garner immediate efforts towards reversal and reformation!

i hereby declare that i, for one, intend to do my part to rectify the situation, and the next time i see a unicorn on a dirtbike, i'm going to say, "wow, that looks just like a cloud!"

castleman address

one score and seven years ago my father brought forth on this continent a new person, conceived in lori, and dedicated to the proposition that all hard-working men are entitled to an occupation.

now i am engaged in a great job quest, testing whether this nation, or any nation, so struggling and yet dedicated, can long endure to withhold employment from me. i am met on a great battle-field of this crusade. i have come to dedicate a portion of my time, as a final endeavor for those who here forfeit their lives for not responding to my cold-call e-mails, that this nation might survive with me pursuing that career which i so desperately seek. it is altogether fitting and proper that i should do this.

but, in a larger sense, i can not dedicate...i can not consecrate...i can not hallow this pursuit. the brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above my poor power to add or detract. the world will little note, nor long remember what i find here, but it can never forget what i searched for here. it is for me the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which needs more employees to accomplish. it is rather for me to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before me—that from these honored dead i take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that i here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new employee—and that capitalism: of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

DEPCA will rule the world

something that has always made me curious is all those little bits of dry erase marker that are left behind after you erase it. at first it seems like you can completely erase a whiteboard, but upon closer inspection, you can see little specks of dry erase particles. what are they? why do they exist? where do they go?! i must know!

despite having studied the whiteboard closely and observing it for countless hours (4 minutes), i have concluded that it is very intelligent. i know this because it is very patient, remaining completely still until i was no longer around. i think that it all gathers together in some hidden location, banding together to form DEPCA (dry erase particle conglomerate army). i'm not entirely sure what their goal in this world is. assuming their goal is on this earth and not some insane space mission to colonize distant dry erase particle friendly planets.

my best guess is the obvious, that they are gathering their strength to strike against that which threatens them the most: chalk. based on that theory, i'm gonna assume that england will be its first target, with its famous cliffs at dover. if DEPCA can control that, then they will completely cut the supply lines to the CCF (chalk coalition forces), severely crippling them.

however, due to the large amount of chalk that has already infiltrated the entire planet, the war would be far from over. DEPCA would have to play a careful, strategic game of attrition from then on, keeping a careful eye on england and not letting it be recaptured.

or maybe gravity just pushes all the dry erase particles to the ground where they are unceremoniously swept into the trash can and never heard from or seen again...

unless that is exactly what we are supposed to believe!